THINGS YOU WISH YOU COULD SAY AT WORK
I don't work here. I'm a consultant. USEFUL EXPRESSIONS FOR THOSE HIGH STRESS DAYS
You sound
reasonable......time to up my medication.
How about "never"? Is "never" good
for you?
Any connection between your reality and mine is purely
coincidental.
The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an
artist.
You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
Thank you.
We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
Yes, I am
an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
I can see your
point, but I still think you're full of shit.
I have plenty of talent and
vision. I just don't give a fuck.
It sounds like English, but I can't
understand a word you're saying.
I see you've set aside this special time to
humiliate yourself in public.
Ah, I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us
again.
I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
Someday,
we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
I will
always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
I don't know what
your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
I like you. You remind
me of when I was young and stupid.
It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot
of Karma to burn off.
I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to
worship me.
Well, aren't we just a ray of fucking sunshine?
Do I look like a fucking people person?
This isn't an office. It's Hell
with fluorescent lighting.
I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
You! Off my planet!!
When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.
Earth is full, Go home.